The last few weeks of pregnancy are a funny old time – unfortunately for many of us the glow of the second trimester has transitioned into more of a hot, flustered, uncomfortable kind of look and that glow is normally a sheen of perspiration if you’re battling through an Australian summer and fielding a million phone calls!
It’s also a time when you can feel at your most vulnerable – every twinge gets you on edge thinking ‘Is this it?’ and you’re spending more time at medical appointments and sometimes it can all get a bit stressful with test results and the possibility of plans changing. Plus it’s difficult to get comfortable with the baby mountain making sleeping and resting not as easy as it used to be.
So you’ve got a lot going on! How do you get the support you need but not too much?
Only you can decide what is right for you, but my advice is to speak up and set some guidelines about what you would like now and especially around the birth. Only yesterday I was speaking to several new mums who were bemoaning the myriad of badly timed visitors to hospital just after the birth or the annoyances of people ‘popping in unannounced’ to the house. It was something they found quite upsetting or are still angry about.
Let me just say, I’m not being a grinch here – so much love and support is needed at this time but think about it ahead of time and you can get the best support you need without having horrible stories to tell afterwards of being exhausted, boobs out, desperate for a shower and finally getting down to a nap when Uncle Fred calls unannounced!
One idea is to have a buffer – either your partner, family member or good friend – whose job it is to field all the calls, texts and facebook messages and let everyone know when they can and can’t visit. Some people also pop a sign on their door when they don’t want to be disturbed. You can also tell the midwife on duty if you don’t want any visitors at certain times. Everyone wants the best for you so will respect your wishes and right to privacy.
Those first few hours and days with you and your baby are so precious – spend a bit of time upfront thinking about what you would like, telling everyone and you can get the best support you need without Uncle Fred syndrome!